Jurassic World Rebirth is a $200 million movie that feels like it was written on a napkin during a studio lunch meeting. The pitch: 'What if we did Jurassic Park again, but with Scarlett Johansson and a new island?' The execution: exactly that, with nothing underneath.

Set five years after Jurassic World Dominion, Rebirth takes place in a world where dinosaurs are going extinct in the wild, surviving only in isolated equatorial zones. Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson), a covert operations expert, is hired by pharmaceutical company ParkerGenix to lead a team onto Ile Saint-Hubert, a restricted island once operated by InGen, to harvest genetic material from the three largest dinosaur species. ParkerGenix claims this DNA holds the key to a miracle drug that could cure heart disease.

The team includes paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) and the stoic Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali). Their mission intersects with a civilian family, the Delgados, whose boating trip goes sideways, stranding everyone on the island together. From there it's a series of dinosaur encounters, corporate betrayals, and narrow escapes that feel assembled from spare parts of every previous Jurassic film.

Let's start with what works: the dinosaurs. Gareth Edwards knows how to frame large creatures against human-scale environments, and a few of the set pieces deliver genuine spectacle. The underwater sequence involving the sea dinosaur is the film's high point, with real tension and impressive VFX work. Edwards occasionally recaptures the 'small humans in a big world' feeling that made the original Jurassic Park magical.

Now the problems, which are extensive.

Scarlett Johansson is miscast. She's a talented actress, but she's not physically convincing as a 'grizzled covert operations expert' and the script does nothing to sell the conceit. Zora never makes a mistake that isn't caused by external forces. She outsmarts every man in the room. She delivers mild put-downs to her male colleagues with a self-aware smile that softens the girl-boss energy but doesn't eliminate it. It's a step down from Bryce Dallas Howard's Claire, who at least had an arc in the original Jurassic World. Zora arrives fully formed and stays that way.

The civilian family subplot is dead weight. The Delgados exist to give the film a 'heart' that it never earns. They're pleasant, generic, and completely disconnected from the main plot until the third act forces everyone together. The runtime could lose 25 minutes of Delgado family scenes and improve dramatically.

David Koepp's script is remarkably lazy. The three DNA extraction missions play out as virtually identical fetch quests. Find the dinosaur, extract the sample, run from something bigger. Repeat three times. The corporate villain, Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), is so telegraphed that his betrayal lands with zero impact. And the hybrid dinosaurs, teased in marketing, show up only in the final minutes and add nothing except a vague sense that someone remembered to check the 'franchise escalation' box.

The male characters are competent but uniformly subordinate to Zora's leadership. Mahershala Ali, one of the best actors working today, is given almost nothing to do. Jonathan Bailey gets the 'nerdy scientist who says interesting things' role but never develops beyond it. The only character with significant flaws is the white male villain, which is so standard at this point that it barely registers as a choice.

Here's the thing about Jurassic World Rebirth: it's not aggressively woke. It's passively woke. The girl-boss lead, the evil pharmaceutical corporation, the 'only men are flawed' character design, the diverse cast arranged around a white female savior at the center. None of this is hidden or surprising. It's just the default Hollywood template applied without thought or conviction. The film doesn't believe in anything strongly enough to be offensive. It's too empty for that.

Gareth Edwards brings technical skill to a script that doesn't deserve it. A few sequences look genuinely great. But spectacle without character investment is just noise, and Rebirth is mostly noise. The Jurassic franchise has been running on nostalgia fumes since 2015, and Rebirth confirms what Dominion suggested: the tank is empty.

The $340 million domestic gross proves, once again, that audiences will show up for dinosaurs regardless of quality. Universal will make three more of these. They'll probably all be exactly like this one.

Formula: Weighted Score = Severity × Authenticity Multiplier × Centrality Multiplier

🔴 Woke Tropes

Trope	Severity	Authenticity	Centrality	Score
Infallible Female Lead (Girl Boss)	3	Low	High	7.56
Evil Corporation / Anti-Capitalist Framing	3	High	Moderate	2.1
Only Men Are Flawed Characters	3	Low	Moderate	4.2
TOTAL WOKE				13.9

🟢 Traditional Tropes

Trope	Severity	Authenticity	Centrality	Score
Family Protection Under Threat	3	Moderate	Moderate	3
Human Ingenuity vs. Nature	3	High	Moderate	2.1
Respect for the Natural World	2	High	Moderate	1.4
Sacrifice and Teamwork	3	Moderate	Low	1.5
Consequences of Playing God	3	High	Low	1.05
TOTAL TRADITIONAL				9.1

Score Margin: +4 WOKE